I would walk 10,000 steps....

YESTERDAY WAS BLISS!!!!

I treated myself a tad bit. the new 2009 Beaujolais Nouveau came out! I also got a couple of new shirts, some lip gloss, made a fantastic dinner, talked several times with the crush (he called, I was planning on leaving him alone since he is away with business & then family!! So felt even better that he took time to call me & WANTED TO!!) also..... I WALKED OVER 10, 000 steps!!!

I know I should have saved the money, but nothing was too frivolous other than the wine maybe, but I deserved it!

Whatever the reason. I am starting to get more comfortable. Starting to smile more & was singing in my car, shower, dancing around the house with the birds.... It feels so good to have feelings like this again. To feel like someone else sees me & cares for what they see & YES they are seeing past the sex potential! This could be something very real. Maybe I'm not past my prime just yet! :) I know I am thinking more & more about him. Still wondering what the flaws could be, but the closer we get the more I adore him. Could Santa have come early with my present this year?



checklist:

1. Exercise:

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 3134 / 1.48 Tues- 1828 / .86 Wed- 6552 / 3.1 Thur- 1569 / .72 Fri - 5111 / 2.42 Sat- 4405 / 2.08 Sun- 10,026 / 4.74


TOTAL STEPS: - 0
TOTAL MILES: - 0

Total Steps Last Week: 32,625
Total Miles Last Week: 15.4


2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,483.81

Car Loan- $ 425.26 (SOON TO BE ZERO!!!)
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,821.55
1- $1,268.03
2- $3,820.49
3- CLOSED
4- $3,954.68
5- $1,436.19
6- $434.47
7- $904.69
Emergency fund- $ 1098.30 (FINALLY BACK UP TO WHERE IT SHOULD BE!)

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

I am all about embracing what will be. I am relaxing & learning to let down defenses. Trusting. Which can be so hard, but pay off so wonderfully so far.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- Renewed motivation
2- Text messages, drop bys & fortune cookie courage
3- Weekends with upcoming short work weeks
4- Shopping. Catching some deals to pamper myself & passing on things comfortably while enjoying the experience
5- Inside jokes & long phone calls (even though I'm not a phone girl)

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Unexpected Developments

Life is just strange.

Within the past week my crush has deepened & I seem to find myself dating an amazing guy. We both have a ton of life going on, but so far things are just wonderful & I find myself looking forward to what ever comes next. Feels strange. The previous dates just left me sad & longing for what I had, but this guy makes me smile & gives me a comfort that I want more of.

Was interviewed for a local magazine & frankly think I bombed it pretty badly. I was exhausted from staying up late the night before & expected the reporter to have better questions to ask. Interns. Oh well. Its over.

Getting back in the habit of working out & loving it. Maybe this holiday season will find me losing instead of gaining. Just excited to be happy & getting to know someone instead of feeling alone & left out.

I got hit with a really big bill for the surgery I had in October. Felt like financial rock bottom. I chose Friday the 13th to empty out my 401(k) at age 32. Penalties & all. But thankfully this is letting me pay off the bill & brought my savings to the $1,000.00 I wanted & needed to complete Baby Step One (on the Total Money Makeover Plan). The great news is this means I get to make my last car payment as planned this month AND I will still be able to afford to spend some money on gifts for my family this holiday. Best yet is I can move forward more quickly on paying off the credit card debit. I still feel slightly guilty on giving up on the 401(k) but I will soon be eligible at my new job to enroll & this time there IS A COMPANY MATCH!! So I kinda feel like I am going to be making up the money soon anyway.

So hopeful for the future, yet trying to push back this fear that being this optimistic & happy means that sooner or later the crash comes. Yet is it the expectation that brings it? I'm going to do my best to expect the best is yet to come & enjoy the ride, as it comes. ...bumps & all. :)

OH & Groucho got a great report from the Vet! He is gaining weight, feathers are gaining more vibrant color & he is moving & talking more. The vet said it might be in his best interest that his wings stay growing out instead of being clipped again. He was showing signs of wanting to fly like the rest of the birds & the exercising was helping to build up his breast bone muscles. So we are letting them grow in & two days ago he FLEW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FIFTEEN YEARS OF LIVING! Finally he is being the bird he was born to be. So far he is unconfident, a bit klutzy and taking things slowly, but he is learning. Feels great to know I am helping him.



checklist:

1. Exercise: So I am wearing the pedometer, working out even on those days where I forget to get the pedometer on or leave it on when I change clothes! der...

This Week: Mon- 3134 / 1.48 Tues- 1828 / .86 Wed- 6552 / 3.1 Thur- 1569 / .72 Fri - 5111 / 2.42 Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 3521 / 1.3 Tues- 3659 / 1.4 Wed- 4614 / 2.3 Thur- 986/ 0 Fri - 2897 / 0 Sat- 0 / 0 Sun- 0 / 0


TOTAL STEPS: - 18, 194
TOTAL MILES: - 8.58

Total Steps Last Week: 15, 677
Total Miles Last Week: 5

ASCM Fitness Plan:
Aero - (4 to 6 sessions) 6 days
Musc- (2 to 3 sessions) 2 days
Flex - (3 or more sessions) 2 days

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,370.69

Car Loan- $ 425.26 (SOON TO BE ZERO!!!)
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,708.43
1- $1,268.03
2- $3,748.38
3- CLOSED
4- $3,916.67
5- $1,436.19
6- $434.47
7- $904.69
Emergency fund- $ 1098.30 (FINALLY BACK UP TO WHERE IT SHOULD BE!)

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

Last night I was feeling stressed & lucky enough I realized it was making me nuts. I was over thinking things in my newly forming relationship due to the insecurities I have developed from the past one(s). Also I am taking things with the bird club personally, which I needed to stop & recognize we all have the birds best interest at heart, no matter how different our paths. I went out to the beach & while the clouds were blocking the stars, the waves still were mellowing & comforting. I was able to relax and recenter. Great place for grounding.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- Learning to relax & make plans rather than just stress & wonder what to do.
2- Even as friends spread further apart, we come closer emotionally.
3- The car is MINE!
4- Groucho is learning to fly for the first time in his life! So cute to be a part of.
5- Hope in the form of a sweetheart of a hunk named Ari

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

check in

just an update


checklist: 1. Exercise: STARTED! Steps & the plan

wearing the pedometer today & will be working out tonight.. no matter what! :) Back on track.

This Week: Mon- didn't track Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /


TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:
Total Miles Last Week:

ASCM Fitness Plan:
Aero - (4 to 6 sessions)
Musc- (2 to 3 sessions)
Flex - (3 or more sessions)

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,700.74

Car Loan- $ 425.26
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 12,038.48
1- $1,284.39
2- $3,838.47
3- CLOSED
4- $4,052.93
5- $1,462.30
6- $471.27
7- $929.12
Emergency fund- $ 100.00

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

I meditated & tried to see the moon. Alas too many clouds. I did a reading with the cards, but didn't do a full ceremony. Just was too pooped to get everything together. My house is a mess from the trip & I set up the new stand for the bird cage I got Grouchoo at the expo. Plus I needed time to spend with them all.

I'm learning the new deck. Just started with picking two cards last night to get a feel for them. Justice & Temperance. Interesting.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- warm flannel PJs I love & got for $10 this weekend
2- love the crisp fall air
3- looking forward to a day without debt
4- my birds all love me more than I can handle at the moment. :)
5- I get to vote this afternoon on the local candidates

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN / SAMHAIN / FALL

I know a tad late, but I was celebrating. Not in the typical way for me, but rather by spending time with my parents & visiting the gravesites of ancestors.

Also attended a great bird expo, where my mom almost adopted a new feathered sibling for me. She fell HARD for a 2 & 1/2 month old Harlequin Macaw that wanted to do nothing in the world more than snuggle with her. I think they were both smitten. But reason prevailed & she walked away slightly broken hearted but also hoping that someone who was younger would give the bird a home longer than she can be able to. Also she was worried that my Dad's crazy but lovable dog Molly would hurt the macaw in her playfulness.

My Panthers won their game!!! & the birds seemed to love the change of scenery. My newest, Groucho fell hard for my Dad! Talking up a storm to get his attention anytime he saw or heard him. Cute. & of course I got in lots of Badyn snuggles that I have been missing since he went to stay with them. Also saw how much good it is doing him when I caught him RUNNING! Something he really wasn't able to do anymore I thought. His arthritis is really being helped by the constant attention that my mom can give since she is home days & of course the other dogs are always encouraging him to move more!

So since for us pagans, this time of year is about remembering the past & looking toward the future, its time to revamp. Kick start a new set of goals to focus & plan on. Start anew with refreshed energy & commitment.

For starters I am redoing my goals list on SuperViva. http://superviva.com/people/MoonGoddess

If you don't already have a life list going, you should. Its fun to see what you can accomplish if you want to & nice to have a source to list everything you have done & remind yourself of your wishes. Why wait to make a bucket list? LIVE NOW!

checklist: 1. Exercise: STARTED! Steps & the plan

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /


TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:
Total Miles Last Week:

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,782.55

Car Loan- $ 754.14
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,791.41
1- $1,225.85
2- $3,837.47
3- CLOSED
4- $3,922.98
5- $1,462.30
6- $412.69
7- $929.12
Emergency fund- $ 200.24

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

Planning a full moon meditation/ceremony tonight. Should be interesting trying to do things without hurting the birds. I want the incense & candles, but they may need to be in another well ventilated room. :)

Bought a new Ryder Waite Tarot deck. Its the basic one, but I have never owned it.

I signed up for a paranormal photography course. Its going to be 3 weeks long with 2 hour sessions each Friday night. Could be fun! & hoping to network with a few new people.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- new ideas & energy
2- my family, the furry, the feathered, the alive & the dead
3- Samhain/Halloween
4- PANTHERS WON!!
5- hope & cute smiles

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Recharge & get ready to go

Its amazing what emotions can be felt that you never expect. I took in another bird & already I adore him like he's been with us forever. I find myself on dates & learning that they have a certain dog (like a german shepard) & wonder...would it leave my birds alone? lol

Dating still feels incredibly weird. Alas I guess it always does in some way or another.

Still finding I need to open myself up more to seeing what is there instead of searching for certain aspects of a former person I miss. I need to be open to NEW relationships rather than just filling a void. Maybe I'm not ready yet

Still part of me is on search overload. Not really actively, but my mind keeps saying you need to find someone & start the family if you are or give up on that dream, to which I just can't seem to do. After finding out the polyp was not cancer after all, I was extremely grateful. Yet in the series of procedures & test, I learned that I'm not as fertile as I once thought. I don't ovulate every month. Which isn't THAT uncommon & can be helped along if I was trying to have kids by some treatments. Still it was a wake up call to me. Now I am back on the pill not to prevent pregnancy but just so that I will actually have a period. I'M ONLY 32!!! Seems strange. I don't feel like that is old enough to have any kind of fertility issues. I still feel very young & like I have a life ahead of me. Unfortunately I guess that may not be the case.

Weird.

Still I have the rest of the week to focus on the new bird & relax, then its back to goal setting & achieving as soon as November 1st starts!

checklist: 1. Exercise: ADD TO THE NEED TO START LIST. Steps & the plan

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /


TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:
Total Miles Last Week:

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,782.55

Car Loan- $ 754.14
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,791.41
1- $1,225.85
2- $3,837.47
3- CLOSED
4- $3,922.98
5- $1,462.30
6- $412.69
7- $929.12
Emergency fund- $ 200.24

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development. It all used to be such a part of me, but I realize how far I have slipped in those several years I was in THE relationship with someone who didn't exactly approve or appreciate my beliefs, so I didn't practice or spend time developing my spiritual side as much as I had. Now I am breaking through the darkness & missing it all now more than ever.

So at least once a week I would like to devote to reading, practice, something to bring me back to who I want to be.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- my health
2- my chance to help a soul in need
3- a day off
4- chances to meet new people
5- renewed friendships

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.